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Post by Britny Ylisaari on Mar 12, 2008 17:43:10 GMT -5
Can always use a little help from your friends.........
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Post by Kayenne on Mar 12, 2008 17:54:30 GMT -5
Too cute!
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Post by Dillasandra on Mar 12, 2008 20:34:33 GMT -5
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Post by tomnaboley on Mar 15, 2008 23:24:40 GMT -5
One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship."
As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft. Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet suit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!
She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?" "Ten years,"replied the amazed Irishman." With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter. He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the castaway, "that is so good! I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Bushmill's Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde.
Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."
Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him.
He opened the flask and took a long drink. " 'Tis nectar of the gods!" shouted the Irishman. " 'Tis truly fantastic!!!"
At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been s ince you played around?
With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!"
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Post by tomnaboley on Mar 15, 2008 23:27:22 GMT -5
On holiday in Europe, Bert noticed a marble column in a church in Rome with a golden telephone on it. As a young priest passed by, Bert asked who the telephone was for. The priest told him it was a direct line to Heaven, and if he'd like to call, it would be a thousand dollars.Bert was amazed, but declined the offer.
Throughout Europe , Bert kept seeing the same golden telephone on a marble column. At each, he asked about it and the answer was always the same: a direct line to Heaven and he could call for a thousand dollars.
After Bert finished his tour in Ireland , he decided to attend Mass at a local village church. When he walked in the door he noticed the golden telephone, but underneath it there was a sign stating: DIRECT LINE TO HEAVEN - 25 CENTS!
Father,' he said I have been all over Europe and in all the cathedrals I visited, I've seen telephones exactly like this one but the price is always a thousand dollars. Why is it that this one is only 25 cents?
The priest smiled and said, 'Son, You're in Ireland , it's a local call
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Post by Sir Trevor on Mar 19, 2008 8:19:51 GMT -5
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Post by Capt. Morgan on Mar 19, 2008 8:52:38 GMT -5
(I think most if not all these terms originated here at the Museum!)
NEW OFFICE TERMS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT:
Salmon Day: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end.
Stress puppy: A person who thrives on being stressed-out and whiny.
Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
SINBAD: (Single working girls) - single income, no boyfriend and desperate.
Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
Assmosis: The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
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Post by Dillasandra on Mar 19, 2008 12:37:10 GMT -5
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Post by Britny Ylisaari on Mar 28, 2008 17:33:55 GMT -5
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Post by Kayenne on Mar 28, 2008 21:47:39 GMT -5
Some of the more creative ways to snooze! ;-D
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Post by Britny Ylisaari on Mar 31, 2008 16:25:02 GMT -5
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Post by Hephzibah on Apr 12, 2008 19:35:31 GMT -5
Sir John and the dog Dog (shar pai) stares at John He lets her out and lets her do her thing Dog barks once He gets up to get her then sits back down She follows him to the kitchen and stares at him He gets up and gets her a treat all in a matter of 2 minutes Boy who has who trained
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Post by Dillasandra on Apr 12, 2008 19:41:41 GMT -5
GOOD DOG!!!!!!!!!!! ;D
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Post by Hephzibah on Apr 12, 2008 20:29:42 GMT -5
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Post by Hephzibah on Apr 12, 2008 20:34:22 GMT -5
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