I wrote a letter to a board that is having a similar problem in their community...which goes to show that as artists, we all have similar emotions, thoughts and situations. I'm heartbroken with what Penfold had to say because it's true...why should everyone be saddened by this strange turn of events...as a matter of fact, I don't really quite know what is going on except that some people seem to be mad at other people and it has something to do with directors and a fight...ugh...I don't know. It's just bad blood for a seemingly unknown reason..at least to me. Anywho, here's my letter...
Theatre communities have always been a very auspicious thing to be a part of to me. For the many people who I see audition just for the love of being onstage or performing or perfecting their craft, these productions are their lifeblood and one of the times
they are truly happy. I consider myself one of those people as well. To be lucky enough to get cast or work in a production is to be compared to a pauper suddenly upon a secret treasure. When you get the call, email or notification that you are a part of something of this magnitude, it takes on a magical significance.
I myself have been privy to not only unsettling behavior but poor attitudes which can be seen as similarly detrimental. If a person like that is in the cast, I think it is up to either the director, or a few close members of the cast to say: "Look, I know that in life, things can get hectic, confusing and downright depressing, but if you need help coming to terms with anything, you can lean on us for support instead of turning to this sort of behavior."
Ok. I know that life is not perfect. I never claimed it to be. We as artists are a very sensitive lot and nothing should be taken for granted when our feelings or situations take advantage of us. However, there are people that you can talk to. Everyone is friendly and willing to listen, whether you want to open your heart, mind and ears is a different story, but you should remember this: if you think of productions in any way like I described above, you should be sensitive to other people's feelings as well. If something goes wrong with a production that you could have prevented, wouldn't you feel like you detracted not only the magic away from yourself, but away from all the others involved as well? Do you want to be viewed as "that person who did such-and-such"? Although people do forgive, some people take longer than others to not only forgive, but to trust you again with something as magical as a production that they are involved in. There are sometimes so many other obstacles in a theatrical performance that there is no need to add additional frustrations to the mix. Consider this. There are so many people competing for that part/role that you have; would you rather be remembered for being a collaborator of this magic created or the destroyer?
I've always lived my life by the golden rule: "Treat others how you wish to be treated." It's not called golden for nothing.
If it weren't for every last one of you, there wouldn't be a "community" to begin with. Take care of yourselves...the thoughts, ideas and spirit of being an artist radiate from every last one of you, whether you realize it or not.
OK. That is my letter and this is how it relates to all of us. We are all part of the magic of Avaloch...whether we are patrons, cast, crew, performers or owners. For magic to happen, all parties involved need to come together. Yes, there's that age-old adage, "united we stand, divided we fall"; it's an adage for a reason. I don't know why people seemingly hate other people, or why there's fighting or why I'm so confused with what's going on, but the beauty of being adults is that we have the power to do a couple of things:
1. realize our mistakes
2. realize our differences as people
3. realize that sometimes our way is not the best way
4. realize that compromise can be a good thing
5. realize that friendships and relationships are forged for a reason and not made overnight
6. realize that sometimes harsh words and fighting really mask hidden insecurities or agendas, the need to be special and/or the want to change but unknowing how.
7. realize in the end, the person(s) you may need the most in the future may be the one(s) that you've shunned in the past
8. realize that to truly love something you must allow it to be free of doubt, fear, anxiety and dread.
9. realize that no one is 100% right in ANY situation, because inevitably there will be something misconstrued, innuendo and lack of communication.
10. realize that everyone analyzes the smallest situations too much and they (the situations) become monumental monsters.
11. realize, as cheesy as it sounds, that there is no "I" in "team", only "individual"...and we are cast members/techies/patrons/etc...all plural. We ALL matter and we all coexist in symbiotic lives, maybe not so much harmoniously, but at least we all have the ability to work toward that goal.
Seriously. I don't care WHO is reading this...Brook, Sean, cast members, staff, and patrons...this needs to stop right now. I'm including everyone in this problem, including myself because incessant and unnecessary fighting, whatever the cause is, is masking the root of the problem. If people cannot work together, then be a human being and say "this is what I feel and why I did this and blah blah blah". Hell, we have all compromised at least once in our lifetime, whether it is from our jobs, our family, friends, what we've wanted out of life. I can honestly say that nothing is worth the grief and aggravation of fighting. I've dealt with it my whole life and all that ever comes of it is regret, depression, pity and sorrow. I guarantee if Ohio would have been hit with a Tsunami (I know, it would probably rain frogs first); we'd have a lot more important things to worry about. We have life and death to worry about...we have pain and sickness to worry about...we have lives to worry about, because let's face it folks, life can be so crappy sometimes and not the way that you've planned it, but grab onto something that makes you happy...chances are that one things that makes you happy, makes others happy as well. Like I said in that letter, do you want to be known as the destroyer of other people's happiness? Who will be the first one to break this unhappiness cycle? More importantly, who has the strength to look inside themselves and ask themselves, what part of this unhappiness did I create, and how can I rectify it? Some people will never do that, but I believe that everyone has that conscience inside them to be a good person...to do what's right...to be not necessarily the better man, but start the ball rolling to creating a better understanding for themselves and the future that inevitably everyone has a hand in creating.
When I auditioned, I was told that this faire is a big family and I was made to feel like it was because I desperately needed a place to call home. I battled with my home life long enough and finally dug inside my psyche and my feelings to let go and start the healing process...and it felt great...like a new beginning. You know what the funny thing was? I didn't have to change me. I kept me the same, but I put myself on the table and exposed what I was feeling and what was done to me that hurt my feelings and my pride; I expressed my anger and jealousy and rage; and then I got to hear what I thought was going to be a vicious retort and an attack on me, but ended up being the side that I didn't expect: regret, issues and situations misconstrued, unknowing and finally the understanding. Both sides were known and a lot was not known until I opened myself up to hear it and not to what I believed. If I can find the strength in myself, just a lowly peasant
, then maybe every one of us can do it too. It helped me. It really did. I'm not as angry or as bitter and I could've felt that way sooner, but by my stubbornness, I choose to torture myself all these years.
I never said that I was any sort of Dr. Phil or anything but I do listen to people and their problems more often then my own. The most common problem is regret...I just don't want anyone here to regret anything, anyone or any experience. Life's too short...it really is...let's enjoy it while we can.
There's my 2 pence...sorry for the rambling, but I tend to do that when I counsel people...take care of yourselves, everyone and as usual, I love you all.
Angela
